Sunday, March 28, 2010

Anxious

I.m be anxious.. He wil be back on tuesday.. I.m felt happy cause he coming back, but i also be worry.... I worry i will get back with he.. I really hope to be not contact with he anymore.. But when i cant get any of news from he, i.m become anxious.. Why??? Why i want to make myself into this always.. Yesterday, he have send a sms to me, told me that where he are.. At the time i receive his sms, i.m be glad, i.m glad that finally he could send me a sms. But at the same way, i.m thinking to not be have changes on us.. I.m worry, i cant make it on what i have said before..
4 days, between this four days, he have never send, call to me.. I.m totally lost contact with he.. When i.m lost contact with he, i was be anxious, always looking on my fon..
When he contact me, i felt to shut my fon to avoid contact he.. What's the stupid things i make it.. I.m really do not know what i want it..
Love is such as a trouble, always making people in trouble, moody,sadness..
I felt miss he so much, but i know that, i wil not get back to he from now.. This is what my mind told me always.. I hope i can persist on my word..
Get back, no more point we stil do it this. Getting back, all the problem wil appear it again and again.. The problem will never be slove.. Cause there are nobody wanna move forward with me.. I.m jux the one that always try to improve, but finally, always become worse..
If start from the 1st, we can move 2gether, i think our relationship wil not getting into this.. If he wil making the changes with me, i think we will hate our chance to do it. But, all dream will not come true, everything was ended..
He never know on my feeling, cause he never take care of my feeling..
Yeah, after release all the feeling myself, i felt i.m in mood now..

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