Today, he hav send me a sms.. He say, hope i can find my mr.right. At that moment, i cant stop on my crying. Until now, i also hard to control on my tears. Why it could fall always, and out of my control.. Crying, was cant slove anything. I try my best to stop it, but i cant do it..
Today, also will be the last day i contact with he.. He say that, when he are try to get back with me, he hav blocking by something. Thats my temper. From that moment, i know that, we will jux lose it from now..
I.m a person that afraid of the things, people i love and like wil leave me.. So that, i always make all the nonsense, even make the anger on a little matter.. From the moment we falling in love, i was in worry everyday. I scared i wil lost he, cause i know i.m reali love to he.. But from this relationship, i hav learn something. The things i love, i cant hold it with tight, cause they will leave me jux because of this...
Now, he oredi stop contact with me. I tink, is the time i should stop on this contact..
Times, wil help me let it go.. But i need god help.. I hope god can stop my crying, sadness, lonely.. I.m really getting to be crazy if i.m still be like this.. Even i.m in bath, working, i also will fall my tears without my control.. My moody make me did many mistake when i.m working.. I hate myself, why even my job i also cant make it as well jux same as my relationship.. May the god will heard from me and help me slove all my problem..
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I hate this guy
Mr. V, i hate he so much so much.
Today, he was coming back to penang. But the 1st person he would like to meet is not me, he rather choose to meet with his fren 1st,. From the moment i know it, i.m reali hate on he, ignored on he.. "I meet wit them 1st, is not because u are not important, jux because convenience. Coz i wil stay penang". Whats a fuck excuse. What of his excuse, i also annoyed... For me, the guy that wil choose on his fren on the 1st, is not put me at the 1st,. Convenience, for he, all my tings also not in convenience..
Maybe he should stay at penang, he like to stay with his frens more than me. This kind of bf, i really cant accepted.. I should find my way..
Any of the present, suprise he wanna give me, i wil jux reject it.. Start from this moment, i wil not meet with the guy anymore..
He really make me hate on he..
He never take care of my tinking, feeling always. All the result, he make himself.
Today, he was coming back to penang. But the 1st person he would like to meet is not me, he rather choose to meet with his fren 1st,. From the moment i know it, i.m reali hate on he, ignored on he.. "I meet wit them 1st, is not because u are not important, jux because convenience. Coz i wil stay penang". Whats a fuck excuse. What of his excuse, i also annoyed... For me, the guy that wil choose on his fren on the 1st, is not put me at the 1st,. Convenience, for he, all my tings also not in convenience..
Maybe he should stay at penang, he like to stay with his frens more than me. This kind of bf, i really cant accepted.. I should find my way..
Any of the present, suprise he wanna give me, i wil jux reject it.. Start from this moment, i wil not meet with the guy anymore..
He really make me hate on he..
He never take care of my tinking, feeling always. All the result, he make himself.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Excited..
I.m a odd person.. Tomorrow, he are coming back.. I.m felt excited, but at the same way i also felt weird.. How long i never meet with him., really miss he so badly... But after we meet, what i.m going to say, do else?
For now, i oredi not in confidence we stil can keep on this relationship..
Maybe now, i oredi be habit on live alone and never had people coming to me, care on me.. Sometimes, i really need some of the care from my love.. Izzit so hard to let me get it?
Now, i oredi dunno what topic we are going to talk somemore..
For now, i oredi not in confidence we stil can keep on this relationship..
Maybe now, i oredi be habit on live alone and never had people coming to me, care on me.. Sometimes, i really need some of the care from my love.. Izzit so hard to let me get it?
Now, i oredi dunno what topic we are going to talk somemore..
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Anxious
I.m be anxious.. He wil be back on tuesday.. I.m felt happy cause he coming back, but i also be worry.... I worry i will get back with he.. I really hope to be not contact with he anymore.. But when i cant get any of news from he, i.m become anxious.. Why??? Why i want to make myself into this always.. Yesterday, he have send a sms to me, told me that where he are.. At the time i receive his sms, i.m be glad, i.m glad that finally he could send me a sms. But at the same way, i.m thinking to not be have changes on us.. I.m worry, i cant make it on what i have said before..
4 days, between this four days, he have never send, call to me.. I.m totally lost contact with he.. When i.m lost contact with he, i was be anxious, always looking on my fon..
When he contact me, i felt to shut my fon to avoid contact he.. What's the stupid things i make it.. I.m really do not know what i want it..
Love is such as a trouble, always making people in trouble, moody,sadness..
I felt miss he so much, but i know that, i wil not get back to he from now.. This is what my mind told me always.. I hope i can persist on my word..
Get back, no more point we stil do it this. Getting back, all the problem wil appear it again and again.. The problem will never be slove.. Cause there are nobody wanna move forward with me.. I.m jux the one that always try to improve, but finally, always become worse..
If start from the 1st, we can move 2gether, i think our relationship wil not getting into this.. If he wil making the changes with me, i think we will hate our chance to do it. But, all dream will not come true, everything was ended..
He never know on my feeling, cause he never take care of my feeling..
Yeah, after release all the feeling myself, i felt i.m in mood now..
4 days, between this four days, he have never send, call to me.. I.m totally lost contact with he.. When i.m lost contact with he, i was be anxious, always looking on my fon..
When he contact me, i felt to shut my fon to avoid contact he.. What's the stupid things i make it.. I.m really do not know what i want it..
Love is such as a trouble, always making people in trouble, moody,sadness..
I felt miss he so much, but i know that, i wil not get back to he from now.. This is what my mind told me always.. I hope i can persist on my word..
Get back, no more point we stil do it this. Getting back, all the problem wil appear it again and again.. The problem will never be slove.. Cause there are nobody wanna move forward with me.. I.m jux the one that always try to improve, but finally, always become worse..
If start from the 1st, we can move 2gether, i think our relationship wil not getting into this.. If he wil making the changes with me, i think we will hate our chance to do it. But, all dream will not come true, everything was ended..
He never know on my feeling, cause he never take care of my feeling..
Yeah, after release all the feeling myself, i felt i.m in mood now..
Friday, March 26, 2010
Grieved
Decision, i reali can mak it? I ask myself oways, i reali can do it as what i said..
Erm, i jux noe that, i wan to break wit a guy that always making the same mistake always n always, again n again, once and one times..
Endure, how many times i did it..
Changes, he never be change at all. I.m the person that always wan to be change. How hard i.m trying myself to improve my bad temper n attitude.. We promise we each other before, we wil change each other by ourself.. Finally, i.m jux the one that oways move forward..
Crying, how many time i.m be crying, how many tears i hav fall on tis relationship. I was remember, on the last i.m crying infront he, he jux keep quiet there, never take care of me, n lost his temper on me..
He hav really be change, i was remember he are appreciate, take care, love me, at all the time. I.m dunno, start from when, he oredi be change. He never appreciate me, never take care of me, even i.m in crying.
Before he going to hong kong, he was never send me a sms, contact wit me. From that time, i oredi decide to lost the man i love. Even, he reaching there, he also never send me a sms, n switch on his fon. How could he treat his gf like this way, mayb he oredi not treat me as his gf anymore.
Love, that are not a excuse to let me keep continues on this relationship anymore. The person never wan to be change, move forward wit me, i wil not value it anymore.
Why he can hide to me once n one time, til the time i catch it, only give a lot of the excuse.. I really hate excuses..
He never wanna persuade me, i think he really think i wil never wan to end with he. Yes, i.m reali never wan to end with he from 1st until now. But this time, i.m really in tired.. He are the person that too confidence on himself. Finally, he wil lost me jux because of his confidence. He can leave me alone like this, i also cant say anything.
Time, wil release everything. My life wil be grieve from now, cause i know that, he is the most i love. But i will try my best to move forward. Make a greater effort myself..
Erm, i jux noe that, i wan to break wit a guy that always making the same mistake always n always, again n again, once and one times..
Endure, how many times i did it..
Changes, he never be change at all. I.m the person that always wan to be change. How hard i.m trying myself to improve my bad temper n attitude.. We promise we each other before, we wil change each other by ourself.. Finally, i.m jux the one that oways move forward..
Crying, how many time i.m be crying, how many tears i hav fall on tis relationship. I was remember, on the last i.m crying infront he, he jux keep quiet there, never take care of me, n lost his temper on me..
He hav really be change, i was remember he are appreciate, take care, love me, at all the time. I.m dunno, start from when, he oredi be change. He never appreciate me, never take care of me, even i.m in crying.
Before he going to hong kong, he was never send me a sms, contact wit me. From that time, i oredi decide to lost the man i love. Even, he reaching there, he also never send me a sms, n switch on his fon. How could he treat his gf like this way, mayb he oredi not treat me as his gf anymore.
Love, that are not a excuse to let me keep continues on this relationship anymore. The person never wan to be change, move forward wit me, i wil not value it anymore.
Why he can hide to me once n one time, til the time i catch it, only give a lot of the excuse.. I really hate excuses..
He never wanna persuade me, i think he really think i wil never wan to end with he. Yes, i.m reali never wan to end with he from 1st until now. But this time, i.m really in tired.. He are the person that too confidence on himself. Finally, he wil lost me jux because of his confidence. He can leave me alone like this, i also cant say anything.
Time, wil release everything. My life wil be grieve from now, cause i know that, he is the most i love. But i will try my best to move forward. Make a greater effort myself..
Sunday, March 7, 2010
A Stimulate Saturday
Yesterday nite, me with my babe going to watch 'Solomon Kane' at gurney.. Damn.. How this movie was bored & not nice.. Yesterday also is his frens 'Thai Ong' birthday..
We going to sunset bistro to celebrate with he.. But, sunset was fully sit and we jux walk around to find a sit, lucky we found it at D'beach Bistro, beside the sunset bistro..
Gynn was bought a banana chocalate cake from secret recipe, but i dun like on that cake, coz i totally hate banana.. All the people bought a nike sport shoes to he..
Aftter join with them, i join my brother and his frens at sunset bistro.. We are chit chat on there til 2.30a.m.. When we are going back to home from batu ferringhi.. My bro fren 'beh' was fetching us to home.. From we came out from the parking, he have done his high speed at batu ferringi.. He drive 90-120 on the corner and never break at all.. How scare am I.. Finally, when we pass the trafic light there, we have an accident..
Someone was rush on our car behind us.. On that time, both of the car also in high speed, 100++.. How the stupid car knock us for twice.. Luckly, the indian guy will compensation for damages..
This is my scary saturday nite..
We going to sunset bistro to celebrate with he.. But, sunset was fully sit and we jux walk around to find a sit, lucky we found it at D'beach Bistro, beside the sunset bistro..
Gynn was bought a banana chocalate cake from secret recipe, but i dun like on that cake, coz i totally hate banana.. All the people bought a nike sport shoes to he..
Aftter join with them, i join my brother and his frens at sunset bistro.. We are chit chat on there til 2.30a.m.. When we are going back to home from batu ferringhi.. My bro fren 'beh' was fetching us to home.. From we came out from the parking, he have done his high speed at batu ferringi.. He drive 90-120 on the corner and never break at all.. How scare am I.. Finally, when we pass the trafic light there, we have an accident..
Someone was rush on our car behind us.. On that time, both of the car also in high speed, 100++.. How the stupid car knock us for twice.. Luckly, the indian guy will compensation for damages..
This is my scary saturday nite..
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